What’s my story?? My story is 34 years in the making, 34 years that many people with the exception of me didn’t think I would get an opportunity to see. Why you ask? I come from a place in time, an area of town, an environment where opportunity doesn’t make itself available to all black males. My reality was the option to live well for a few years doing things that are illegal and put myself in a situation where I could die early, or be jailed for most of my life because of those decisions. That was the prospect that I dealt with.
So do you still want to know where I am from? What is my story? Well here it is:
I was born and raised on the southwest side of Charlotte some would say in a slightly less desirable area than most. Nevertheless, I was a happy kid with one brother and both parents in the home, which for me was very significant. I spent most of my early years like other kids on my side of town; we all played sports and tried not to get into trouble, but always found some to get into anyway. As I look back on my childhood and teenage years, I dreamt of becoming a famous athlete. While most would say it was silly, my dream was the direct reason I have the opportunity of writing this paper today.
I was a gifted athlete and lived a storybook, high school career: Quarterback and Captain of the football team, Center Fielder, Pitcher and Captain on the baseball team, Vice President of the student body both my Junior and Senior years and voted most popular by my peers for my senior superlative. Unfortunately, all of these seemingly good accolades did not prepare me for what I would face my senior year and beyond. I am fine with the fact that I was the “stereotypical” Black Male Athlete with sub par grades, simply never forced to exert too much energy in the classroom; B’s and C’s were fine with me. I was very likeable and not forced to do anything but produce on the field. Reality struck at the end of my senior year when I had my first child at 17 years old, which dramatically changed my life. Not only did I have the responsibility of becoming a father, but the reality also set in that I could not leave the state to pursue my football scholarship. Statistically, I was another number. That meant that I would not go to college, or achieve anything more than a high school diploma; this left me with the strong possibly of doing things that would land me in prison or a coffin. The reality is that all around me this was true; many of my friends that I went to high school with are no longer here. I had to experience, only two years after high school, four guys that I played ball with dying from violent crimes, while another five would be in prison for the next seven plus years. Three other very close friends would also meet their demise six years later at the hands of violence.
This is why 34 is so significant because we never really could imagine what 34 would look like, yet here I am so what do I do now? I must be honest when I say I am not absolutely sure. My story is similar to those I mentioned before, many were not so fortunate; however, for whatever reason, I was chosen to go on to college where I received my Bachelor of Arts from North Carolina Central University in English Literature. I chose to major in English because it was the only course I felt I could hold my own in. I was terrible in Math, but my math teacher loved football so I could go clean erasers during her period. I hated Biology, but my biology teacher let me go to the weight room during her period or sit in the back and sleep. My English teacher however, took the time to first show an interest in me not only on the gridiron; she promised me that if I didn’t work as hard in her class as I did on the field of play that she would not pass me and she would not grade on any curve. Then she would tell me that I was tipping off the defense because I wouldn’t look off the secondary before I threw a pass; she cared! She simply showed an interest in me, not for what I was doing, but for what she felt I could do!
After graduated from North Carolina Central University, I began working in the Human Resources field, which I really enjoyed. I also began coaching at my Alma-Mater, Harding High School in 1999. Therefore, for all intensive purposes, I had the best of both worlds. I had the ability to make a pretty good income and go out and be a part of something special throughout the week with the excitement and anticipation of Friday night football!
In 2002 I went back to school and received my MBA from Pfeiffer University in Human Resources. I have always enjoyed helping people find jobs and advocating for the subordinate worker. It is important to ensure the employee rights were preserved, and giving opportunities through hiring is fulfilling. So after over ten years in the HR field and dealing with the ups and downs of an unstable economy, I got married in 2004. With the support of my wife, I decided that being happy and making a difference in my community and in the lives of young men is where I want to be. I now understand that money isn’t everything; because of this I will always embrace my history and use my story to help others like myself to rise above their own stereotypes and pitfalls.
It will not be an easy task, but I know I will excel. So this is the reason I have made the choice to leave Corporate America and return to my roots and make a difference.
There are many young people out there with my same story. When they need a reference point or someone to talk to that they can trust, someone who understands their story, I will listen to them without any preconceived notions or judgments; I will be there. While I appreciate all of my teachers throughout high school, I only had one male teacher that was actually in the classroom, not as a coach that stayed primarily in the gym or weight room all day. This particular male teacher had no interest at all in sports. As a teacher, I will be able to bridge this gap because I care about the student’s academics and their athletic achievements.
I have made a life choice, one that requires that I now give of myself fully and selflessly to other young men and refuse to let them buy into the stereotypes that I too refused to let place me in a convenient societal box. I think I now understand why I have been spared; I have been placed in this class at this moment in time for a reason. I believe I will be the man who sparks a flame in the young person who will do great things in this world. I believe I can help students succeed and breakdown barriers so that they can carry the torch to the finish line and that’s only part of my story the end is far from being written.
Monday, February 15, 2010
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Mark, thanks for your honesty and sincerity. I read this with interest. I'm always interested in how other men got into English--we're a rare breed, it seems. I've never had any regrets. I don't really have any questions, because you answered them along the way, and I don't have nay suggestions, because this was the "real deal." I feel inspired having read this. Thanks again.
ReplyDelete(Larry)
My English teacher however, took the time to first show an interest in me not only on the gridiron; she promised me that if I didn’t work as hard in her class as I did on the field of play that she would not pass me and she would not grade on any curve. Then she would tell me that I was tipping off the defense because I wouldn’t look off the secondary before I threw a pass; she cared!
ReplyDeleteThis particular passage hits home with me because I am a coach and I teach athletes. some are used to getting by with doing the minimum but getting the maximum.
I make sure my student athletes understand that as much as I will scream and shout for them at the games, I will be on them to succeed in my classroom and that they will have to earn their grades by working hard on and off the playing field. So many young men are being crippled because things are handed to them if they are good in sports and I refuse to carry one on my back. It is great you will be in the classroom and coaching, the students need support in all areas to be successful.
Mark-
ReplyDeleteLike Candi and Larry, I truly enjoyed the sincerity with which you tell your story. The same lines that resonated with Candi, were also the most powerful for me. Your teacher was paying close attention to you on the field and off. Just curious if she knows how much of an influence she had on you...if not, I think she should.
Having also grown up on the "Westside", I also was painfully aware of the difference in experience my black male friends had than anyone else...I lost many classmates to jail and violent deaths as well. Fortunately, I had teachers who cared as well, and many of these young men grew into successful grown men, with whom I've stayed in touch. We had strong male teachers (and an amazing principal who knew everyone's name)at West Meck, and I think they were likely one of the contributing factors to the success of many students in my school.
Thank you for acknowledging the importance of having these role models in our schools and giving up a corporate career to effect change in our school system.
Heather
I had a friend in high school who was going down the wrong road at break-neck speed. Then someone got him into wrestling. Changed his life. That person forever steered the course of that boy's fate. Showed him how to see himself as worthy. YOU WILL be this person for some kid who needs you.
ReplyDeleteMark,
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful story. I believe, too, that you were "spared" for a reason. You will be a great influence in the lives of teenagers to reach for more than what they ever thought they could grasp. Your personal experiences will give you credibility and respect in their eyes that will carry much weight in their own life choices.
This was inspiring to read! As a native Charlottean I understand what you mean when you say "I come from a place in time, an area of town, an environment where opportunity doesn’t make itself available to all black males." Not only is it impressive and admirable that you were able to overcome the odds, but it's wonderful that you not only overcame them but want to help make those same odds better for students today. It's one thing to walk through the fire, but it's another to walk through it and want to go back in to help another walk through it.
ReplyDeleteMark, your story was very touching. I am sure that your experiences will definitely afford you the respect of students who may not necessarily listen to their teacher. I particularly liked the line "She simply showed an interest in me not because of what I was doing, but what she felt I could do!" Students need this and I am sure that you will be that kind of teacher. You're right, money isn't everything- there are a lot of rich people who are unhappy and even take their own lives. Having people in your life who care about you and having peace in your life are priceless.
ReplyDelete